WAR/CRAFT

A Micro-RPG of Honor, Magic, and Endless Xpacs
Based on Lasers & Feelings, and decades of nerdrage

STATS: WAR / CRAFT

Pick a number from 2 to 5.

• Roll under your number for WAR (combat, tactics, yelling “For the Horde!”)
• Roll over for CRAFT (magic, engineering, arguing about Night Elf canon)

ROLES

Pick one:

• Orc: Green & Angry
• Human: Basic but Effective
• Elf: Pretty & Condescending
• Undead: Was Cool Once
• Dwarf: Short & Scottish
• Troll: Still Warning Ya 'bout da Voodoo
• Gnome: Why Do They Exist?
• (Bonus) Panda: Chill & Mysteriously Canon

ROLLING

Roll 1d6. Add +1 die if:

• You’re on your racial mount
• You shout your faction’s motto in-character
• You correctly pronounce “Quel’thalas” under pressure

Outcomes:

• 1 Success: You do it, but it’s janky (and requires a patch).
• 2+ Successes: Epic success. A cutscene plays.
• Rolling 6s: An expansion hits. Everything changes. Your gear is obsolete now.

GEAR

You begin with:

• One epic weapon (comically large)
• One magic thing you don’t understand
• A pet or mount with more personality than you

XPAC TABLE (roll d6)

1. World shattered again
2. Betrayal by beloved character
3. Faction war but make it sad
4. Time travel! Deal with it.
5. Another god appears
6. Classic mode: regress to previous content (Give up one "quality of life" feature and gain crippling nostalgia)

LEVELING UP

You never truly win.
But you can transmog your pain.

DISCLAIMER

Yes, this is a parody, Activision Blizzard.
You can call off that Fel Reaver.