TiGGR: The Ethos Gambit

A TiGGR one-shot of metaphysical showdowns, interpretive acrobatics, and one intoxicated chimp.

Scene:

A flickering, grimy dive bar in Argos Station orbiting the dead planet Kant-47. The jukebox only plays existential jazz. A glowing exit sign buzzes above a locked airlock door. The only way out is past five dangerously philosophical drinkers.

Goal:

Escape the bar by earning the approval—or short-circuiting the judgment—of the Philosophical Cabal.

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The Philosophical Cabal

A fused hive-mind of legendary philosophers, half-drunk and wholly terrifying. Their power comes from confusion, coherence, and a shared bar tab no one can close.

• Stats: Body 0, Mind 3, Charm 0, HP 3
• Special Ability – Socratic Spiral: Once per scene, demand a paradoxical moral position. Mind 8 to resist collapse (lose turn if failed).

Individual Weaknesses:

• Socrates – Weak to incomprehensible performance art.
• Nietzsche – Distracted by bold, chaotic movement.
• Kant – Implodes under contradictory imperatives.
• Hume – Can’t refute passionate nonsense.
• The Chimpanzee – Throws things. Is morally confused by bananas.

Three Scenes

Scene 1: The Glare of Reason

You enter. They notice. Socrates raises a glass and asks, “Why are you?” Hooks:

• Barkeep drops Camus quote → Mind 8 to decode.
• Karaoke mic sparks → Charm 8 to weaponize in debate.
• Chimp flings a barstool → Body 8 to dodge or redirect dramatically.

Scene 2: Trial by Dialectic

One philosopher accuses you of moral inconsistency. The others begin heckling. Hooks:

• Nietzsche launches into spoken-word nihilism → Body 8 to outshine him with interpretive existentialist dance.
• Kant starts glitching as his imperatives multiply → Mind 10 to worsen the contradictions.
• Hume sobs over a bad breakup → Charm 8 to weaponize his sentimentality.

Scene 3: Final Judgment

They declare it’s time to "measure your soul." Only one path leads out: performance, persuasion, or total philosophical collapse.

Hooks:

• Perform a Fluxus-style absurdist ritual involving noodles and a traffic cone → Body 10 to short-circuit their judgment routines.
• Trick them into arguing themselves into silence → Mind 8, three times, targeting separate philosophers.
• Deliver an impromptu monologue that confuses meaning itself → Charm 10 to win their stunned applause (and exit).

Our Protagonists: “The Onto-Knights”

1. Runaway Clone with Uploaded Ethics Database

“I contain multitudes... and footnotes.”

• Body: 1, Mind: 2, Charm: 0
• Special Ability:
  Overcited – +1 Mind when arguing using known philosophers’ positions (must name-drop at least one).
• Signature Gear:
  Kant.exe – Once per scenario, override any one moral claim (Mind +3 roll) by quoting conflicting Kantian imperatives.

2. Failed Stand-Up Philosopher on Tour

“What’s the deal with essentialism? Am I right?”

• Body: 0, Mind: 1, Charm: 2
• Special Ability:
  Punchline Pivot – +1 Charm when changing the subject with a joke (even if it’s terrible).
• Signature Gear:
  Broken Mic – Once per scenario, unleash a feedback shriek so awkward it disrupts hostile Charm or Mind rolls within earshot. +3 Charm to your next roll.

3. Bureaucratic Inspector from the Ethics Commission

“In section 4, paragraph 9b, you’ve clearly violated your own virtue schema.”

• Body: 1, Mind: 1, Charm: 1
• Special Ability:
  Regulation Reflex – +1 to any roll when citing obscure legal precedent, protocol, or intergalactic ethics codes (real or invented).
• Signature Gear:
  Filing Spear – Once per scenario, poke a hole (literally or figuratively) in someone’s argument or disguise. +3 to a Body or Mind roll.

4. Synth-Pop Dancer Trying to Win Their Freedom

“Every pirouette is protest. Every body roll is resistance.”

• Body: 2, Mind: 0, Charm: 1
• Special Ability:
  Body Logic – +1 Body when performing interpretive dance to express abstract philosophical concepts.
• Signature Gear:
  Discotheque Gauntlets – Once per scenario, unleash a strobe-laced display of rhythm and contradiction. +3 Body on any performative or escape-based move.