This Town Ain't Big Enough
A Sparks RPG
A Lasers & Feelings hack
You are members of an eccentric traveling glam-pop ensemble navigating a world of jealous promoters, absurd cultural movements, theatrical rivals, and strange artistic conspiracies.
Your band’s founders — Ron and Russell Mael — remain the gravitational center of every situation.
Every problem can be solved the Ron way or the Russell way.
Sometimes both.
THE STAT
Your character has one number from 2–5.
This number represents where you fall on the spectrum between RON and RUSSELL.
| Style | Meaning |
|---|---|
| RON | calculation, composition, irony, control, restraint |
| RUSSELL | passion, performance, charisma, chaos, dramatic action |
High number → better at RUSSELL
Low number → better at RON
ROLLING THE DICE
When something risky happens, roll 1d6.
Add dice if appropriate:
- +1 if you are prepared
- +1 if you are the right band member for the job
Compare each die to your number.
Using RON
(cold intellect, deadpan wit, musical structure)
Roll UNDER your number.
Examples:
- Compose a devastatingly clever lyric
- Manipulate a record executive
- Execute a perfectly timed piano cue
- Maintain composure while everything collapses
Using RUSSELL
(performance, charisma, emotional intensity)
Roll OVER your number.
Examples:
- Hit the impossible falsetto note
- Seduce the crowd
- Talk your way past security
- Turn a disaster into a spectacle
RESULTS
| Dice Success | Result |
|---|---|
| 0 | Catastrophe. The situation becomes absurdly worse. |
| 1 | Bare success, but dramatic complications occur. |
| 2 | Success. The show goes on. |
| 3 | Critical success. The crowd goes wild. |
EXACT NUMBER: RON & RUSSELL
If you roll your number exactly, you achieve RON & RUSSELL.
You suddenly understand the situation perfectly.
Ask the GM a question like:
- What’s the real agenda here?
- Who’s trying to sabotage the show?
- How can we turn this into a hit single?
- What’s the most theatrical possible outcome?
The GM must answer honestly.
CREATE A CHARACTER
Choose a Style
- Glamorous
- Sardonic
- Dangerous
- Romantic
- Deadpan
- Visionary
- Exhausted
Choose a Role
- Vocalist
- Keyboardist
- Guitarist
- Manager
- Producer
- Roadie
- Journalist
Choose your Ron–Russell Number (2–5).
Then give yourself a ridiculous stage name.
Examples:
- Velvet Dynamo
- Claudio Voltage
- Spectral Gina
- Maximalist Dave
BAND GOALS
Choose one:
- Write the Perfect Pop Song
- Destroy Your Rival Band
- Become International Sensations
- Survive the Tour
- Invent a New Genre
- Escape the Record Contract
CREATE THE BAND
Choose two strengths:
- Legendary Hooks
- Theatrical Stage Show
- Devoted Cult Audience
- Mysterious Reputation
- Incredible Wardrobe
- Experimental Studio Tricks
Choose one problem:
- Label Interference
- Rival Band Sabotage
- Endless Touring Debt
- Overly Ambitious Concepts
- Unstable Band Members
- Critics Don’t Get It
CREATE AN ADVENTURE
Roll or choose:
A Threat
- Rival Glam Band
- Corrupt Record Label
- Avant-Garde Cult
- Obsessive Superfan
- Government Cultural Bureau
- Experimental Music Collective
Wants To
- Control Your Music
- Steal Your Song
- Replace You
- Start a Movement
- Destroy Your Reputation
- Force a Collaboration
With
- A Secret Studio
- A Cultural Festival
- A Television Broadcast
- A New Instrument
- A Lost Master Tape
- A Strange Producer
Which Will
- Make You Famous
- End Your Career
- Start a New Genre
- Trigger a Cultural Panic
- Rewrite Pop History
- Change Everything
THE CORE RULE OF THE GAME
When something ridiculous happens, the GM asks:
“What do you do?”
Players decide:
RON or RUSSELL?
Every session should eventually reach a moment where two characters both shout:
“THIS TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US.”
Then roll.
CREDITS AND OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER
Original Lasers & Feelings game design by John Harper.This hack structure, format, and mechanics are derived from that design.
Inspired by the music, personas, and improbable longevity of Ron and Russell Mael, collectively known as Sparks.
This game is a derivative hack of Lasers & Feelings by John Harper.
This is an unofficial fan work. This game is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Sparks, Ron Mael, Russell Mael, any record label, publisher, or management associated with Sparks.
All references to Sparks, song titles, and albums are used for parody, homage, and commentary. No claim is made on the ownership of any music, lyrics, trademarks, or intellectual property belonging to Sparks or their associated entities.
If anything here inspires you to actually listen to Sparks, that is considered a successful outcome.