By The Intrepid in Hack — 11 Oct 2025

The Döömenvalley Heist

Mörk Borg One-Shot of Nordic Vengeance

THE SITUATION

The DNS Regime (Definitely-Not-Sees, pronounced "duns") has stripped Döömenvalley of everything gentle. They're transporting the looted gold—including Döömenpapa's ancestral hoard—via armed convoy to their fortress. This is your chance to take it back.

The Valley keeps its dead warm with stories. Tonight, you'll add one more.

CORE MECHANICS

Refer to the Mörk Borg rules. They're short, sharp, shocked.

THE HEIST: THREE SCENES

Each scene costs you something. Track what you lose.

SCENE 1: THE AMBUSH (Desperation)

Forkmaiden's drone shows: armored truck (the gold), two escort vehicles, 8 DNS soldiers, Oberst Snaff commanding. The pass narrows at dusk. This is your moment.

Objective: Stop the convoy. Separate the gold truck.

Complications (failed rolls):

Alert raised early (reinforcements: 8 rounds)
Snaff's jammer kills drone control
Roadblock fails, convoy accelerates through
Fåttihattener discharge gives away position

What this costs: Surprise. Positioning. The belief this will be clean.

SCENE 2: THE EXTRACTION (Exhaustion)

You've stopped them. Maybe. The gold truck sits smoking in the snow. Oberst Snaff is calling for backup. You have 6 rounds before reinforcements arrive.

Objective: Open truck, secure gold, prep escape.

Complications:

Truck is booby-trapped (DEX check or take d8)
Gold weighs more than expected (movement halved when carrying)
Wounded DNSs regroup for counterattack
The Grøke's presence creeps closer (frost forms on metal, radios crackle)

What this costs: Time. Blood. The friend who stays behind to hold them off.

SCENE 3: THE ESCAPE (Entropy)

You have the gold. The Valley winter is rising. DNS reinforcements hunt you through the snow. The Grøke follows—not hunting, just... present. Like grief.

Objective: Reach Döömenhouse ruins alive.

Final complications:

Blizzard rises (visibility zero, navigation checks)
Someone must be left behind (party vote or volunteer)
Gold's weight forces terrible choices (abandon it or abandon each other)
Radio static grows. Frost spreads. The Grøke is everywhere.

What this costs: Everything you couldn't carry. Everyone who couldn't keep pace.

VICTORY CONDITIONS

Gold recovered + most survive = Pyrrhic victory
Gold recovered + heavy losses = You bought tomorrow with today
Some gold + some survivors = The Valley remembers you tried
TPK = At least you died on your feet

DNS RADIO CHATTER

Forkmaiden intercepts through drone feed. Roll d6:

d6	Transmission
1	"Command, convoy Alpha reports... [static]... snowman with pickaxe... [static]... requesting—" [signal lost]
2	"Oberst Snaff to all units: the locals are armed. How is this possible?"
3	[Encrypted burst] [Forkmaiden's goggles frost over—the Grøke is near]
4	"Base, we need air support at coordinates—" [harmonica music bleeds through frequency]
5	"This isn't worth the gold. This valley is wrong." [sounds of desertion]
6	[Nothing but wind. The radio shouldn't pick up wind.]

THE CHARACTERS

DÖÖMENPAPA (The Patriarch)

HP: 12
Agility: -1 (slow, deliberate)
Presence: +1 (grim authority)
Strength: +3 (unstoppable)
Toughness: +2 (endures)
Weapon: Ancestral Pickaxe (d8, ignores 2 armor)
Special - ENDLESS FURY: When HP drops below 4, all attacks deal +d4 damage
Flaw: Cannot retreat while enemies stand on Valley soil
"They burned my house. They killed my wife. They made a mistake."

FORKMAIDEN (The Operator)

HP: 6
Agility: +2 (precise movements)
Presence: +2 (sees everything)
Strength: -1 (not built for melee)
Toughness: +0 (human limits)
Weapon: FPV Drone w/payload (d10 ranged, requires line of sight) + The Fork (d4 melee, desperation only)
Special - OVERWATCH: Mark targets; allies roll attacks with advantage against marked enemies
Flaw: Each drone use adds Dissociation token. At 5 tokens, become The Grøke temporarily (lose control, attack nearest creature)
"I set tables once. Now I set crosshairs."

SNUFFKEN (The Wanderer)

HP: 8
Agility: +2 (always moving)
Presence: +1 (quiet wisdom)
Strength: +0 (sufficient)
Toughness: +1 (weathered by travel)
Weapon: Dual harmonicas (d6 sonic, morale damage) + Molotovs (d8 area effect, 3 uses)
Special - MOURNFUL TUNE: Force Presence check on all enemies in earshot. They flee or fight with disadvantage for d4 rounds
Flaw: Cannot harm unarmed targets (principles matter, even now)
"The song ends when the Valley is free."

THE GRØKE (Entropy Incarnate)

HP: 10
Agility: -2 (inexorable, not fast)
Presence: +3 (impossible to ignore)
Strength: +1 (touch of cold)
Toughness: +3 (cannot be stopped, only endured)
Weapon: Touch of Cold (d6, freeze target on critical) + Presence Aura (all creatures within 10' move at half speed)
Special - ABSOLUTE ZERO: Once per scene, freeze entire encounter for 1 round. Affects everyone—allies, enemies, self. The world stops.
Flaw: Cannot speak. Cannot be comforted. Is the Valley's grief made manifest.
Static on radios. Frost on goggles. Cold that isn't temperature. She follows because grief always does.

THE DNS REGIME FORCES

DNS Soldier (Standard)

HP: 4 | Armor: 1 | Rifle (d6)
Fight in pairs, radio for backup

DNS Heavy (2 per convoy)

HP: 8 | Armor: 2 | Machine gun (d8, suppressing fire)
Protect Oberst Snaff, lay covering fire

Oberst Snaff (The Collector)

HP: 14 | Armor: 2 | Officer's pistol (d6)
TACTICAL GENIUS: All DNSs get advantage while Snaff lives and commands
Drops: Encryption key (next mission), medals (worthless), journal (he was documenting artifacts)
"You think violence will restore what was? I'm preserving it. You're just... breaking things."

WHAT DID YOU LEAVE BEHIND IN THE SNOW?

After the heist, each surviving character rolls d6:

d6	Left Behind
1	Snuffken's harmonica (cracked in the cold, notes won't hold)
2	Forkmaiden's last drone (signal lost to static, fell somewhere in the dark)
3	Fåttihattener (couldn't keep pace, stayed behind to delay pursuit)
4	Döömenpapa's wedding ring (fell through frozen fingers, gone in the snow)
5	Part of the gold (too heavy, left in a drift, marked for later—if there is a later)
6	A name (someone didn't make it back; player chooses who, describes their last moment)

The Grøke leaves nothing. She never does.

DICE, DOOM, & DÖÖMENPAPA

When you roll:

Natural 1 (Crit): Spectacular success. Describe it. GM adds beneficial complication.
Success (under stat): It works. Describe it.
Failure (over stat): It doesn't. GM describes consequences.
Natural 20 (Crit Fail): Hilarious disaster. Describe it. GM adds dangerous complication.

Example: Döömenpapa swings pickaxe at DNS Heavy

Rolls 2: Pickaxe goes through heavy, through vehicle behind, pins both. Others flee.
Rolls 11: Clean hit. Heavy drops.
Rolls 16: Armor deflects. No damage. You're exposed.
Rolls 20: Pickaxe lodges in tree. You're disarmed. Heavy laughs.

AFTERMATH: THE SAUNA

If you survived and recovered the gold:

The Valley remembers. Winter is still here. The DNSs still occupy what's left of Döömenhouse. But tonight, in the ruins, there is gold. There is a fire built from reclaimed DNS furniture. There is the sauna, heated to scalding.

Forkmaiden is teaching Snuffken how to pilot drones, though her hands shake. Döömenpapa holds his pickaxe and stares into the flames, saying nothing. The Grøke sits at the edge of the light—neither warm nor cold, but present.

Oberst Snaff's encryption key suggests something worse is coming. But that's tomorrow's problem.

Tonight, you proved that gentle creatures, when pushed far enough, push back.

The Valley keeps its dead warm with stories. Tonight, you added one more.

End scenario. Roll new characters if yours died. The Valley needs more vengeance.

Credits: Game: The Grey Ledger Society; System: Mörk Borg SRD (Stockholm Kartell); Inspired by: Tove Jansson's Moominvalley, Sisu (2022), Finnish winters, and the gap between what we were and what we've become.

Legal: Döömenpapa is a parody. Döömenpapa, Forkmaiden, Snuffken, and all Döömenvalley elements are transformative works. Any resemblance to gentle Nordic creatures is purely coincidental and protected as satire. The DNS Regime is definitely not referencing anyone specific. Definitely not.

CC BY-SA 4.0

BONUS CHARACTER:

LITTLE PYY (The Chaos)

HP: 7
Agility: +3 (physics is optional)
Presence: +1 (infectious energy)
Strength: -1 (relies on speed not force)
Toughness: +0 (purely mortal, somehow survives)
Weapon: Dual pistols (d6 each; fire both at disadvantage OR alternate for sustained fire)
AGENT OF ENTROPY: When you roll natural 1, something spectacularly absurd happens beyond just success (GM's call, but make it chaotic)
UNHINGED OPTIMISM: Immune to morale checks. Once per scene, make allies re-roll fear/morale saves by laughing maniacally
Flaw: Must make Presence check to NOT do the chaotic thing when presented with two options
"You know what this mission needs? MORE FIRE. And maybe some dancing."

Character dynamic:

Döömenpapa (grim patriarch): "The plan is—"
Little Pyy: already shooting "BORING! New plan!"
Forkmaiden (exhausted): "She's going to get us killed."
Snuffken (philosophical): "Perhaps chaos is its own wisdom."
The Grøke: [ominous frost intensifies]
Little Pyy: "Grøke gets it! Don't you, cold friend?" finger guns at entropy incarnate

Sequel hook: Oberst Snaff's encryption key reveals the DNS Regime is building something in the old lighthouse—a broadcast tower that will summon more Definitely-Not-Sees from across the sea. The party needs someone who can infiltrate, sabotage, and shoot their way out.

Enter Little Pyy, who's been living in the lighthouse's shadow doing freelance chaos, waiting for someone interesting to show up.

Her introduction scene: Party approaches lighthouse. Explosions. Gunfire. Maniacal laughter echoing off snow.

They find Little Pyy sitting on a pile of DNS corpses, reloading, humming a jaunty tune, her red topknot somehow still perfectly positioned despite the carnage.

"Oh GOOD, you brought the pickaxe guy! I heard about you. Very visceral work. I respect that. Want to blow up a lighthouse?"

Döömenpapa: "...who are you?"

Little Pyy: "Little Pyy! I live here now. Well, they lived here. Now I do." gestures at corpses "So about that lighthouse..."

Gameplay mechanic: PYROMANIAC'S INTUITION: Little Pyy can identify structural weak points (roll WIS, paradoxically). On success, she knows exactly where to plant explosives for maximum theatrical effect. On fail, she plants them anyway because it'll be hilarious.

Dual-wielding:

Fire both pistols at same target: Roll both d6, take higher result, but roll with disadvantage
Fire at two targets: d6 each, normal rolls
Alternating fire (empty both guns over multiple rounds): Sustained suppression, enemies can't advance

The Aeon Flux comp: She moves like physics is optional. When making acrobatic/parkour checks, she can choose to auto-succeed but must describe something impossible happening (backflip off falling debris, run along a crumbling wall, vault through closing door). Each use adds a Luck Token. At 3 tokens, reality snaps back—something catastrophic happens, GM's choice.

Harley Quinn energy:

Talks to enemies while fighting them ("Nice uniform! Very authoritarian chic. Shame about the bullet holes!")
Has inexplicable chemistry with the Grøke ("You're so COLD. I love that. Very committal.")
Keeps suggesting terrible plans that somehow work
Once pet a Fåttihattener. It discharged. She laughed.

Sequel title: DÖÖMENPAPA 2: LIGHTHOUSE PYYROCLASM

Her tragic backstory (revealed only if players ask): She lived in the lighthouse before the DNS came. Keeper's daughter. They killed her family, occupied the light, used it to signal their ships. She's been picking them off one by one ever since, waiting for the numbers to thin enough to take the lighthouse back.

The manic energy? Grief wearing a different mask than the Grøke's. She chose laughter and bullets. The Valley has room for both.

When someone asks if she's okay: "Okay? Okay? I'm GREAT! Every day I wake up and get to shoot fascists. What's not okay about that?"

[Later, quieter, staring at the lighthouse] "...Dad used to light the lamp at dusk. Every night. Never missed once." [Reloads pistols] "I'm gonna burn it down. The light, the tower, all of it. Clean slate, yeah?"

Her ending: If the lighthouse mission succeeds and she survives, Little Pyy stands in the ruins as dawn breaks. The false light is extinguished. She's quiet for once.

Then: "...think I'll build something new here. After the DNS are gone. Maybe a dance hall. Valley could use more dancing."

Döömenpapa nods. "The Valley could use more everything."

Little Pyy grins. "Then let's make sure there's a Valley left to fill."