The Cicatrix Maledictum: AWS Edition
How the Dark Imperium lines up with AWS's two major US regions
Imperium Sanctus (us-west-2):
- Roboute Guilliman returned = Proper infrastructure management with Kubernetes
- The Emperor's light still reaches = Hydroelectric power from the Columbia River
- Functioning Astronomican = Prometheus monitoring actually works
- Primaris Marines = Modern containerized services
- Hope exists = Your deployments usually succeed
Imperium Nihilus (us-east-1):
- Cut off from the Emperor's light = Random AWS service outages block everything
- Warp storms everywhere = Constant network partitions and availability zone failures
- Chaos corruption spreads = Legacy services infecting modern infrastructure
- No reinforcements = "This service is only available in us-east-1" but it's broken
- Grim darkness = Your monitoring dashboard is permanently red
The Regional Theology Post-Rift:
us-west-2 (Imperium Sanctus): "The Emperor protects, and so does proper multi-AZ deployment patterns!"
us-east-1 (Imperium Nihilus): "The Emperor cannot hear us through the Warp storms of Virginia data centers. We must endure alone, sustained only by our faith in eventually consistent S3."
The Great Rift Incident:
- Before M41.999: "Deploy to us-east-1 first, it's the default"
- After M41.999: "Deploy to us-west-2 and pray the cross-region replication works"
- Dark Angels: Still deploying to us-east-1 out of stubbornness and refusing to admit it's broken
Imperial Fists (Terra/us-east-1): Dorn is STILL monitoring dashboards in us-east-1, manually cordoning failed AZs during the eternal Siege of Virginia, while Guilliman in us-west-2 is running a proper cloud-native infrastructure.
The Beautiful Horror: This means we're living in the Age of the Dark Imperium of AWS, where half the galaxy (us-west-2) has embraced modern practices while the other half (us-east-1) languishes in darkness, cut off from reliable service availability and proper monitoring.
The Great Rift splits not just space and time, but also AWS regions and SLAs.
In the grim darkness of post-Rift AWS, there is only regional disparity, and the prayer that cross-region failover actually works when you need it.