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Nosideism

A collection of 60 issues

The Shellfish Gene: A Natural History of Homo Politicus in Late-Stage Democracy

A Field Guide to Evolutionary Maladaptation in the American Seafood Boil Preface: A Note from the Researcher This document represents three months of participant observation within the American political ecosystem, specifically the period from August through November 2025. The researcher wishes to acknowledge a methodological limitation: as a specimen within

From Raccoon City to Your City: The Civilian Cosplay Complex Explained

Introduction: The Movie Gun Problem The KRISS Vector is a movie gun. You've seen it: angular, aggressive, unmistakably futuristic. Mila Jovovich wielding it against zombies in Resident Evil. Call of Duty players hip-firing it in multiplayer. That distinctive profile that says "tactical" louder than any other

For the Horde! I Mean... For the Children! (Only When It's Convenient)

Or: What Political Discourse Reveals About Rhetorical Priorities The Battle Cry In World of Warcraft, players storm into battle screaming "For the Horde!" For that moment, you're not alone—you're part of something larger, unified by the cry itself. It doesn't matter

The Last Thing You Should Practice

A Very Practical Guide to Preparing for the Defensive Firearm Encounter You Will Absolutely Never Have (Because If You Do, It Means Everything Has Gone Very Wrong) By Someone Who Bought a Boring .380 and Has Made Peace With It There is a peculiar ritual in American gun culture where

Let's Keep The Tin Foil Hats Off for Now

MEMORANDUM TO: Fellow Pattern-Recognizers and Historically Traumatized Observers FROM: Someone Who Also Remembers the 1980s RE: Let's Keep The Tin Foil Hats Off for Now DATE: October 24, 2025 Alrightey. A carrier group heads south, boats get struck in Caribbean waters, a Colombian president gets sanctioned, and those

2048 at 50,000 Feet

A Field Report Aboard Democracy's Red-Eye I discovered 2048 somewhere over the Atlantic. The flight map on the seatback screen showed a glowing line arcing from Dallas to Helsinki, but the progress bar of time-to-destination refused to move. The cabin lights were dimmed to simulate night. Everyone was

Being Here When This Is Happening

"I'm not here, this isn't happening." When Radiohead released that line in October 2000, it wasn't prophecy—it was tuning fork, vibrating at a frequency already present in the cultural atmosphere. Thom Yorke's dissociative mantra, his plea to simply not

Game Over, Man?

Dropping Out of the Dropship Private Hudson doesn't panic because he's a coward. He panics because he's the only one who's done the math. The dropship's crashed, the mission brief was fiction, and command is still insisting everything's

Welcome to Nosideism

Orientation Pamphlet for New Inductees Welcome, Citizen. You are receiving this pamphlet because you have indicated a preference for no tribe, no banner, and no side. This is a sensible choice. The Bureau congratulates you on your decision. In times of heightened polarization, it is natural to feel pressure to

A Ledgered Meal: Devil's Dill, NE Portland

Portland’s late night staple Devil’s Dill has opened a new outpost on Killingsworth, and we finally got around to giving their sandwiches a try for an early lunch to-go. Eating on an empty stomach is one thing; contemplating a nosh with a head clogged with the day’s