By The Intrepid in PDW — 10 Dec 2025

Soft Targets: A De-escalation Supplement

System-Agnostic Conflict Resolution for the Armed Citizen

Compatible with reality. No dice required. Consequences permanent.

"This doesn't need to go that way. But if it does, I'm not lying about what 'that way' means."
— The unspoken doctrine of every competent person who carries

Designer's Note

Most self-defense training teaches you the mechanics of violence: draw speed, sight picture, trigger control, legal parameters.

This supplement teaches the mechanics of not-violence: the moment before the draw, the conversation that prevents the shot, the spatial geometry that creates exits.

Think of this as the social encounter rules your CCW class didn't include.

The goal: Both parties leave the encounter. No one rolls for damage.

Core Mechanic: The Three-Phase System

Every potential violent encounter has three phases:

CALM (green) - No threat present, situational awareness active
ESCALATION (yellow) - Threat emerging, de-escalation tools available
CRITICAL (red) - Threat immediate, de-escalation unlikely to succeed

Your goal: Recognize which phase you're in and use appropriate tools.

The failure state: Misreading the phase and using wrong tools.

De-escalating in CRITICAL = hesitation that gets you killed
Drawing in ESCALATION = creating the violence you were trying to avoid

Phase 1: CALM (Passive Awareness)

Objective:

Stay in this phase. Avoid transitioning to ESCALATION.

Tools:

Environmental Scanning: Note exits, cover, lighting, clusters of people
Threat Assessment: Who's present? Who's agitated? Who's watching you?
Positioning: Back never to open space, maintain distance from unknowns
Behavioral Tells: Recognize pre-attack indicators (see Appendix A)

Success Condition:

You avoid entering ESCALATION entirely by:

Choosing different route
Leaving area when tension rises
Not engaging with agitated individuals
Boring outcome, best outcome

Failure Condition:

You transition to ESCALATION because:

You missed threat indicators
You stayed too long in bad space
Someone selected you as target
Random encounter (no fault, bad luck)

Phase 2: ESCALATION (Active De-escalation)

You are here because:

Someone is verbally aggressive toward you
A situation is deteriorating
You feel adrenaline spiking
Conflict is building but not yet physical

Core Rule: Three Layers, Sequential Application

You must apply these in order. Skipping layers reduces effectiveness.

Layer 1: SELF (Physiological Control)

Challenge: Your threat response is activating. If you radiate fear or aggression, you escalate them.

Mechanics:

Action: Breathing Protocol

Inhale 4 counts, exhale 6-8 counts
Effect: Parasympathetic activation, adrenaline suppression
Success: Your hands stop shaking, your voice steadies

Action: Postural Reset

Drop shoulders, open stance, hands visible at mid-torso
Effect: Reduce threat signals by ~70%
Success: They perceive "not threat" rather than "threat" or "prey"

Action: Gaze Management

Look at chest/past them, not direct eye contact
Effect: Eliminate predator-stare trigger
Success: Their aggression doesn't spike from perceived challenge

Critical Insight: You cannot de-escalate them while escalated yourself. This layer is mandatory.

Layer 2: THEM (Cognitive Off-Ramp)

Challenge: Their brain is in fight-or-flight. Logic is offline. You need to interrupt the threat loop.

Three Tools (Choose Based on Context):

Tool 1: Soft Pivot

Action: Remove zero-sum framing
Example: "Let me get out of your way"
Effect: Reframes from conflict to space-sharing
Success Condition: They accept the reframe, stop advancing
Failure Condition: They interpret as weakness, escalate

Tool 2: Unexpected Non-Sequence

Action: Introduce input that doesn't match threat script
Example: "You okay? You look like you're having a rough day"
Effect: Creates confusion, drops adrenaline, shifts frame
Success Condition: Confusion breaks threat loop, aggression softens
Failure Condition: They perceive manipulation, escalate

Tool 3: Permission Slip

Action: Give them exit that preserves dignity
Example: "I'm not trying to make this weird. If you want to head out, you're good"
Effect: Removes social pressure to continue
Success Condition: They take the exit without losing face
Failure Condition: They perceive dismissal, escalate

GM Note: Success rates vary by context. Emotional escalation (anger, ego) responds better than predatory behavior (hunting, selection).

Layer 3: SPACE (Distance Management)

Challenge: Create distance without signaling fear (triggers predation) or aggression (triggers counter-response).

Core Technique: Lateral Movement

Action: Move perpendicular or diagonal to their position

Not backward (signals prey)
Not forward (signals threat)
Sideways, casual, like adjusting position

Effect on Their Threat Assessment:

"Not fleeing" (you're not prey)
"Not advancing" (you're not threat)
"Space opening" (conflict can resolve)

Mechanical Benefit:

Buys time (3-5 seconds to reassess)
Creates distance (increases safety margin)
Improves angles (better tactical position if Layer 2 fails)
Does all this without verbal declaration

Critical Rule: Movement must appear incidental, not tactical. Slow, casual, unremarkable.

Phase 3: CRITICAL (Threat Recognition)

You are here because:

De-escalation tools failed
Red flags indicate de-escalation won't work
Window for talking is closed

Core Rule: Recognize Transition Immediately

The failure state isn't using force. It's hesitating when force is necessary.

Red Flags (Indicators De-escalation Has Failed):

Multiple Attackers + Coordination

Behavior: They're communicating (glances, gestures), flanking, surrounding
Assessment: This is tactical, not emotional
Response: Stop de-escalating. Escape or act.

Weapon Already Drawn

Behavior: Gun/knife out and pointed at you
Assessment: Window for talking closed
Response: Comply or counter. De-escalation buys seconds at most.

Predatory Behavior (Not Emotional)

Behavior: Calm, focused, methodical closing of distance
Assessment: This is selection/hunting, not anger
Response: They've already decided. Stop talking. Act or escape.

Physical Cornering

Behavior: Your back is to wall/car, they're blocking exit
Assessment: Lateral movement unavailable
Response: Your options are fight or freeze. Choose fight.

Persistence Despite Disengagement

Behavior: You've created distance, offered exits—they keep closing
Assessment: They're committed to this outcome
Response: This is pursuit. Escape or prepare to act.

High Intoxication/Mental Health Crisis

Behavior: Incoherent, erratic, not processing language
Assessment: De-escalation success rate drops dramatically
Response: Prioritize distance. Prepare for failure.

Decision Tree:

[CRITICAL PHASE ENTERED]
       ↓
[Can you escape?]
   ↓           ↓
  YES          NO
   ↓           ↓
[ESCAPE]    [Can you create distance?]
              ↓           ↓
             YES          NO
              ↓           ↓
        [MOVE + REASSESS] [PREPARE TO ACT]
                              ↓
                    [They continue closing?]
                         ↓           ↓
                        YES          NO
                         ↓           ↓
                       [ACT]    [MAINTAIN DISTANCE]

Critical Insight: In CRITICAL phase, hesitation kills. If red flags are present, stop de-escalating.

Post-Encounter Protocol

If De-escalation Succeeded:

Immediate (0-10 minutes):

Action: Leave Area

Don't linger, don't watch, don't gloat
Exit immediately
Get to public, well-lit space

Action: Manage Adrenaline Dump

Expect: shaking, rapid heartbeat, nausea, emotional crash
Response: Sit, breathe, hydrate, eat
Don't drive until shaking stops

Short-term (Within 1 hour):

Action: Document Encounter

Record: time, location, descriptions, dialogue, witnesses
Purpose: Memory degrades fast post-adrenaline
Legal prep: In case they escalate later or file report

Action: Assess Reporting

Report if: threats made, weapon displayed, followed after disengagement
Don't report if: purely verbal, ended cleanly, no evidence
Consult attorney if unsure

Long-term (Days after):

Action: Reflective Analysis

What worked? (Which tools succeeded?)
What failed? (Which layer broke down?)
What did you miss? (Red flags you ignored?)
What will you train? (Gaps revealed by real encounter)

Action: Targeted Training

Practice breathing under stress
Role-play verbal de-escalation
Drill lateral movement
Turn encounter into training curriculum

If De-escalation Failed (Violence Occurred):

This supplement ends here.

You're now in:

Legal system (lawyer, investigation, potential charges)
Medical system (injuries, yours or theirs)
Psychological aftermath (PTSD, guilt, stress)

What this supplement was designed to prevent.

The Five Core Principles (Reference Card)

Print this. Laminate it. Keep it with your carry permit.

Control your physiology first
- Can't de-escalate them from inside your adrenaline
Offer exit that protects dignity
- Everyone wants out that doesn't feel like losing
Move laterally, not back/forward
- Space solves more than words
Fewer words, softer tone
- Tone is message, words are packaging
Goal: both walk away
- Not winning. Surviving.

Appendix A: Pre-Attack Indicators (Behavioral Tells)

Verbal Indicators:

Volume increasing
Speech becoming clipped/repetitive
Statements becoming absolute ("I'm going to..." not "I might...")
Challenge questions ("What are you going to do about it?")

Physical Indicators:

Thousand-yard stare (dissociation before violence)
Target glancing (checking surroundings for witnesses/escape)
Blade stance (turning body sideways, preparing to move)
Hand positioning (touching waistband, clenching/unclenching)
Weight shift to balls of feet (preparing to close distance)
Jaw clenching, vein prominence (adrenaline dump visible)

Proxemic Indicators:

Closing distance despite your movement
Circling behavior (seeking angle/advantage)
Blocking exits
Moving into your personal space deliberately

Social Indicators:

Friends pulling away ("I'm out, man" — they know what's coming)
Crowd forming (social proof that fight is happening)
Third party trying to intercede ("Come on, let's go")

GM Note: Single indicator = monitor. Multiple indicators = escalation in progress. Cluster of indicators + red flags = transition to CRITICAL.

Appendix B: Training Scenarios (Solo & Partner Drills)

Solo Drills:

Breathing Under Stress

Sprint 30 seconds (spike adrenaline)
Immediately practice 4-count inhale, 8-count exhale
Goal: Achieve calm breathing within 20 seconds
Run drill until automatic

Lateral Movement

Set up cones/markers
Practice moving diagonally while maintaining visual on "threat" marker
Movement must look casual, not tactical
Goal: Create 10 feet of distance in 3 steps without appearing to retreat

Verbal De-escalation Scripts

Record yourself saying de-escalation phrases
Playback and assess tone (Are you escalating with your tone?)
Practice until delivery is calm, neutral, non-confrontational

Partner Drills:

Role-play Scenarios:

Scenario 1: Parking Lot Dispute

Setup: Partner accuses you of taking their spot
Your task: De-escalate using Soft Pivot or Permission Slip
Partner escalates if you sound aggressive, mocking, or fearful
Success: Both parties disengage within 60 seconds

Scenario 2: Bar Confrontation

Setup: Partner bumps into you, interprets your reaction as aggression
Your task: Use Unexpected Non-Sequence to interrupt threat script
Partner responds to your tone/body language
Success: Tension drops, partner accepts reframe

Scenario 3: Road Rage

Setup: Partner exits vehicle, approaching angrily
Your task: Lateral movement + verbal de-escalation
Partner follows if you retreat backward (prey behavior)
Partner stops if you move laterally and maintain calm

GM Note for Partner:

Don't make it easy
Respond realistically to poor tone, defensive posture, or tactical body language
Escalate if student radiates threat or fear
De-escalate if student controls physiology and offers good exits

Appendix C: When This Supplement Doesn't Apply

Situations outside this system:

Active Shooter

No de-escalation possible
Run, hide, fight (in that order)
This supplement is not relevant

Home Invasion

They've already committed to crime
De-escalation unlikely (but possible if they're startled/scared)
This supplement is marginal

Ambush/Mugging

No warning, no escalation phase
Goes directly to CRITICAL
This supplement is not relevant

Domestic Violence

Different power dynamics, different psychology
Requires specialized training beyond this scope
This supplement is insufficient

Mental Health Crisis (Severe)

Person is not responsive to environmental cues
De-escalation requires clinical training
This supplement is inadequate

Designer's Afterword

This supplement exists because gun culture teaches mechanics of violence but not mechanics of avoiding violence.

You've been taught:

How to shoot
What to shoot
When (legally) you can shoot

You haven't been taught:

How to recognize you're escalating someone
How to give them an exit
How to move in space without triggering them
When de-escalation won't work and you need to stop trying

This is the missing rulebook.

The goal: You never need the other rules (draw, shoot, legal defense).

The backup plan: If you do need them, you'll know you exhausted every other option first.

Carry legally. Train regularly. De-escalate first.

License

This supplement is released under Creative Commons Zero (CC0).

You may:

Copy it
Modify it
Print it
Distribute it
Teach from it
Use it to save lives

No attribution required. No permission needed. The goal is reducing violence, not claiming credit. If this helped you, teach someone else.