Metal & Mayhem: A Headbanger's One Shot
We’re on a Mission from Satan. Or Something.
Based on Lasers & Feelings by John Harper
You are headbanging pilgrims on a sacred quest. Your tools are distortion, chaos, and unshakeable devotion to the riff. Your enemies are corporate promoters, poser cops, and anyone who'd silence the music.
THE HACK: HEAVY ↔ METAL
Your Number
Choose a number from 2-5. This is your place on the Heavy ↔ Metal spectrum:
HEAVY (2-3): Tight riffs, setlist precision, gearhead fixes, staying cool under pressure, calculated execution.
Example: "Fix the van by rewiring it with guitar strings."
METAL (4-5): Headbanging fury, crowd moshes, amp feedback miracles, raw passion, divine chaos.
Example: "Summon a blizzard by screaming into the void."
Rolling the Dice
When you attempt something risky or uncertain, roll a d6:
- Roll under your number: HEAVY succeeds (calculated, precise, technical)
- Roll over your number: METAL succeeds (chaotic, inspired, raw)
- Roll exactly your number: Success + earn 1 Spectacle Point
Difficulty Modifier: If the situation is especially risky, the GM may require you to roll 2d6 and succeed on both. If you have an advantage, roll 2d6 and succeed on either.
Spectacle Points
Spend SP to escalate the scene toward Looney Tunes absurdity. The goal isn't to avoid chaos—it's to compose it into the biggest possible gag.
- Add 10 more patrol cars to the chase
- Turn a riff into reality-bending magic
- Introduce your ex-drummer with a lawsuit and low-end van
- Declare a miraculous coincidence
- Chain together impossible stunts that somehow work
- The van's engine roars back to life mid-cliff drop
- Pyro explosions that defy physics and safety regulations
Spectacle Economy: Scenes naturally climax when 5-7 SP have been spent total. At that point, cut to the aftermath—the dust settling, the sirens fading, the next complication arriving. Don't let scenes drag past their peak absurdity.
PICK YOUR ARCHETYPE
Choose your role in the horde. Each archetype has a goal that drives them and an approach that defines how they solve problems.
THE SCREAMER (Frontman)
Heavy-leaning schemer and silver tongue
- Goal: Rally the pit and keep the horde together through sheer force of will
- Drive: "The show must go on—no matter what"
THE DRUMMER
Metal-leaning deadpan prophet pounding the ritual heartbeat
- Goal: Trust the rhythm and divine timing
- Drive: "The beat never lies"
THE SHREDDER (Lead Guitar)
Metal-leaning fiery visionary shredding sermons of doom
- Goal: Inspire through solos and righteous fury
- Drive: "The riff is the message"
THE WHEELMAN (Driver)
Heavy-leaning stoic miracle worker turning the tour van into a hellbeast
- Goal: Get everyone there in one piece (somehow)
- Drive: "We're not stopping for anything"
THE ROADIE (Fixer)
Heavy-leaning wizard scavenging amps from junkyards
- Goal: Handle the logistics nobody else thinks about
- Drive: "I know a guy who knows a guy"
THE BASSIST
Metal-leaning explosive wildcard dropping seismic drops
- Goal: Escalate everything into beautiful chaos
- Drive: "Sometimes you gotta break things to fix them"
SACRED ELEMENTS
The Holy Vehicle
Every mission needs its miracle machine—The Black Omen. Your rustbucket tour van that hauls gear, survives fiery wrecks, and blasts riffs from hell. It's not just transport; it's a vessel of faith that does impossible things because the mission demands it. When physics says "no," the holy vehicle says "watch this."
When a player says ‘The Black Omen can handle it,’ that’s a cue to let them spend 1 SP and describe something physically impossible but spiritually inevitable.
The Pantheon
Every mission needs its saints. These are the gravitational centers that legitimize your chaos. When the Pantheon shows up, the chaos bends toward them. They don't participate in the spectacle—they anchor it, giving it meaning and weight. Players instinctively straighten up, speak more respectfully, and let the music flow through them.
THE PROPHET: Legendary roadie who whispers the gig prophecy. Delivers the call to action.
THE KEEPER OF RESPECT: Elder metalhead guarding the sacred setlist. Won't give their blessing until you prove worthy.
THE MERCHANT OF MIRACLES: Pawn shop shaman with cursed gear. Provides tools and wisdom while teaching how power works.
THE BRIDGE: Fanzine scribe linking you to metal's bloodline. Connects past to present, embodies tradition.
Note: In play, these figures are untouchable. The chaos happens around them, never to them.
Authority as Buffoons
The world is full of corporate promoters in skinny jeans, poser cops, rival nu-metal sellouts, and venue Nazis ("No corpse paint!") who exist to be humiliated by cartoon physics. They're not evil masterminds—they're Elmer Fudd with badges and bad attitudes. When authority shows up, it's to be outrun, outwitted, or buried under an avalanche of their own making. They trip over their own pedals.
The Recurring Fury
Someone from the past won't let go. Your ex-drummer, now in a sellout band, hunting you with lawyers and low-end vans. They're not evil—they're righteous in their anger. Use them to punctuate quiet moments with sudden chaos, always at the worst possible time. The Fury makes everything personal.
THE MISSION: NORDFEST OR BUST
What needs saving? Your band's soul—land the gig that proves you're not hobbyist losers.
Deadline: ONSITE at Nordfest in 72 hours (Norway's answer to Wacken for black metal wannabes).
Who's hunting? Local cops (old noise complaints), rival band Corpse Grinder (stole your riffs), and the Fury (wants royalties).
One-Shot Structure: 3-4 hours. Aim for 5-7 SP per act climax. Deadpan delivery: Treat pyro malfunctions like minor tuning issues.
Act I: The Call & Launch (30-45 min)
Opening Scene: The Prophecy
In your frozen garage/rehearsal shed (anywhere bleak—Finland, Midwest, Siberia), THE PROPHET (bearded roadie with a crumpled flyer) bursts in: "Nordfest needs openers! Headliners Immortal Frost dissed your town—skipped it last tour. Prove metal's alive!"
Players define:
- Band name (e.g., Frostbite Funeral, Ragnarok Riffs)
- Hometown hellhole
- Pick numbers (2-5 on the Heavy ↔ Metal spectrum)
Scene 1: Land the Gig
Cold-call/email/beg the promoter.
- Heavy approach: Fake a demo with polished mixes
- Metal approach: Raw live clip of you shredding in the snow
- Complication: Rivals sabotage your signal
- SP opportunity: Turn your plea into a viral mosh video
- Success: You're in—as emergency openers if headliners flake
Scene 2: Gear Up & Roll Out
Scrounge van/amps. Hit the pawn shop (THE MERCHANT OF MIRACLES): Cursed Marshall stack that feeds back souls.
- Heavy approach: Haggle for tires/gas
- Metal approach: Steal back stolen gear from rivals
- Complication: Cops raid for "public disturbance"
- SP opportunity: Van escapes in a tire-screeching blaze
- Climax (5 SP): The Black Omen is loaded. First chase hint: Fury tails you. Cut to highway—act over.
Act II: The Road to Ruin (1-1.5 hours)
Get the Horde Mobile. Everyone's "home" is a pit stop en route.
Gig 1: Roadhouse Ritual
Truck stop or dive bar. Raise cash for tolls and pyro.
- Heavy approach: Tight set, sell merch
- Metal approach: Possess the crowd—furniture moshes
- Complication: THE KEEPER OF RESPECT (old metalhead) tests you: "Play the sacred riff or no blessing."
- SP opportunity: Bar turns into a circle pit apocalypse
- Pursuit: Rival band ambushes parking lot
Gig 2: Festival Warm-Up
Rival town fairground. Scout Nordfest vibes, fund border crossing.
- Complication: THE BRIDGE (fanzine guru) reveals headliners' weakness: "They fear true black metal."
- SP opportunity: Impromptu duel—your riff vs. theirs, amps explode cartoonishly
- Chase Cascade: Cops + Fury converge. SP spends: 10 more patrol cars, van flips mid-air but lands shredding
Road Spectacle Economy: Ferry breakdowns, blizzards, elk stampedes. Each SP = bigger riff reality warp (snow headbangs to your beat).
Climax (7 SP): Cross the border. Horde intact, but Nordfest radar pings—rivals alert promoter. Dust settles: Viral clips draw fed-equivalent security.
Act III: Nordfest Apocalypse (45-60 min)
SP REMINDER: When the ritual performance begins, all SP spent should aim at 'album cover levels' of spectacle. This is what the whole session has been building toward.
The Convergence: All hell unleashes at the fest.
Scene 1: Backstage Bedlam
- Promoter (suit with earpiece): "You're openers? Prove it—or posers get the slot."
- Rival Band (Corpse Grinder): Sabotage your soundcheck
- Fury crashes: "You stole MY blast beats!"
- Heavy approach: Bribe/tech fix
- Metal approach: Fury mosh-off
- SP opportunity: Gear fuses into mega-amp
Scene 2: The Freak Accident
Headliners Immortal Frost sidelined—pyro backfires, "frostbite" irony (or elk through tourbus). Promoter panics: "YOU'RE HEADLINERS NOW!"
- Complication: Poser cops storm for "unlicensed chaos." Rivals rally fans against you.
The Show: Ultimate Spectacle
Full set as divine ritual. Roll for riffs:
- Under = Precise solos slay
- Over = Raw chaos conquers
- Exact = SP + crowd miracle
Spectacle Point Effects:
Victory Paradox
Cops/Fury/promoter dogpile post-encore. You "lose" (arrested/evicted), but the mission wins—vid goes mega-viral, band's legend born. The System gets your bodies, but you've already won the only war that matters. Fade on deadpan: "Worth it."
Session End Tiers:
- 3+ SP total: Local metal rags hail you
- 5+ SP total: Headliners invite you on tour
- 7+ SP total: Satan himself tweets (or equivalent)
Roll for Your Epilogue:
HOW TO PLAY IT STRAIGHT
The comedy lands when the characters never break. Your metalheads don't think they're funny—they're deadly serious about their sacred quest. The absurdity comes from the contrast between their deadpan certainty and the escalating chaos around them.
Player Advice
- Never acknowledge the spectacle as weird
- Respond to exploding amps and van pile-ups with mild inconvenience
- Treat the gig as the only thing that matters
- Let the situation be ridiculous; keep your character sincere
- Headbang sincerely. "The riff is the mission."
GM Advice
- Make authority figures pompous before they're defeated
- Let Spectacle Points create impossible coincidences
- The Pantheon never looks foolish; chaos bends around them
- End scenes on deadpan one-liners, not punchlines
- Escalate to Looney Tunes metal
Quick Reference
SESSION FLOW
Use this as your pacing anchor. A 3-4 hour session should hit all nine beats.
1. CHARACTER CREATION — Pick archetypes, choose numbers (2-5), name the band, define hometown
2. THE PROPHECY — The Prophet delivers the call; players commit to Nordfest
3. GEAR UP & ROLL OUT — Scrounge equipment, load The Black Omen, first chase hint
4. ROADHOUSE RITUAL (Gig 1) — First performance, earn cash, meet the Keeper of Respect
5. FESTIVAL WARM-UP (Gig 2) — Second performance, meet the Bridge, rivals escalate
6. ROAD SPECTACLE — Chase cascade, border crossing, SP-fueled reality warps
7. BACKSTAGE BEDLAM — All antagonists converge; prove you belong on stage
8. THE RITUAL PERFORMANCE — The show itself; spend SP for album-cover spectacle
9. THE PARADOXICAL ENDING — Arrested/evicted, but legendary; fade on deadpan victory
PROPHECY → GIGS → ROAD → STAGE → LEGEND
CREDITS
Lasers & Feelings: John Harper
Rhythm & Blues: The Grey Ledger Society + CGCG Helix
Heavy Metal Hack: Inspired by Heavy Trip and assembled by holy fools who believe music is sacred and chaos is divine
The Grey Ledger Society + CGCG Helix = CC BY-SA 4.0
"We're putting the horde back together."