Debord Aboard

In exaggerated French accent: "I told you zees! Ze society of ze spectacle, she eez not just theory - she eez your LIFE now! You silly Americans with your warehouse cathedral worship!"

"Zees eez exactly what I said! Ze commodity becomes ze social relationship! You think you are buying ze hot dog, but non - ze hot dog, she eez buying YOU!"

Waves dismissively from castle wall: "Your 'membership' - eet eez just alienation with a laminated card! You think because ze pizza eez cheap, you have escaped ze spectacle, but NON! Ze spectacle, she has simply become more... how you say... COSTCO-SIZED!"

"Your Instagram photos of ze Costco food court - ZEES EEZ ZE SPECTACLE! You document your own commodification and call eet 'authenticity'! I FART EEN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!"

"Mettez le moutard!"
"Eh?"
"Le moutard! Le moutard!"
"Ah, oui!"

Launches industrial-sized container of mustard

"Run away! Run away!"

Giant industrial-sized mustard container crashes into the Costco food court

"What is zat thing?"

"Eet eez... how you say... KIRKLAND SIGNATURE! Ze private label of ze bourgeoisie!"

Horrified whispers among the membership cardholders

"We are ze Knights Who Say 'SPECTACLE!' We demand... a sacrifice!"

"What do you want?"

"We want... A SHRUBBERY! ...purchased at bulk pricing with your membership rewards!"

Sound of shopping carts frantically rolling away

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries... PURCHASED IN BULK!"

Launches a 24-pack of toilet paper